I hate it when people say, "If I really wanted to be a dick, I would..." and then proceed to list all of the dickish things they could do. That is being a dick, maybe even more so, since you're pompously flaunting self-assumed non-dickitude. Passive-aggressive dickery is dickery, nonetheless.
(I love neologisms!)
I don't think I'm advocating for being out-and-out assholes, but let's at least stop with all of the fakery. Or take some time to embrace your grumpiness before heading out into the world and affecting others with it. This is regular earth, not Middle Earth, so quit telling this fairy tale, and just act like a dick if it's needed.
Just because I don't want to talk about you kids, weekend, favorite color, last bowel movement, and so forth doesn't make me mean. Nor am I insensitive because I don't care about the perplexing curvature of this morning's poop.
If anything - you're the insensitive one for failing to realize just how much I detest you, and you're continued insistence on telling me idiotic details of your existence until my brain becomes pudding. And the ultimate of ironies is that whilst telling me I'm insensitive, you list off ways you could be a dick if you wanted to be.
Jessica, I think that you're somewhat insensitive to how you make me feel.
You're not my girlfriend honey. I'm entirely insensitive to how I make you feel, because I don't give a damn. Yep. Fact.
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