Returns & Exchanges

It baffles me how this woman always manages to be in front of me at the store register:

• She's returning something
• Something she bought in 2009
• Online
• She doesn't have the receipt anymore
• Because that one day in 2010 when she was just on her way to return the item, the house suddenly caught fire and she had to save all the knickknacks
• Yet she still managed to save the item, but tragically lost the receipt

Fuck this lady!

Now, I do think too many stores make it harder than resurrecting Christ to return things (yeah Sears, I mean you), and I have also found something bought a year or so ago, squirreled away in my closet, with the tags still attached and thought dammit.

But if it's older than a couple of months, I'm not going to try to return it. If anything, I'll donate it so some cheap and/or less fortunate soul can pick up a shirt from the thrift store and say to themselves, "Why this shirt still has the tags attached! Those bougie-assed bitches have too much money!"

Cheap and/or poor people to have sour attitudes and curse like sailors. Takes one to know one.

And I am always, always, always behind this woman! How prevalent is this mentality amongst women?!

In fact, yesterday in Anthropologie, the woman in front of me was returning some boots she bought as a Christmas gift in 1986, from the Anthropologie store in Uzbekistan, and I remember thinking that moment was the literal personification of why women shouldn't have any rights. Put on a burka, honey and stay in the goddamn house. No, you can't drive!

And forget learning to read. You wouldn't put it to good use anyway because you wouldn't read the damn return policy on the back of the receipt.

Worse, is how this woman - who is clearly in the wrong on so many levels - has to go and get downright argumentative with the salesperson who can't give give her the cash amount she's swearing she paid for the item she maybe/maybe not bought at an Anthropologie store 20+ years ago. She even threatens to never shop at Anthropologie again.

Bitch, you may not have ever shopped here in the first place! You can't prove you ever have!

I was so close to chucking one of those stupidly expensive candles at her head just so the whole thing would stop.