We all know the story of Midas and the Golden Touch right? Everything he touched turned to gold, which at first was amazing, but later crappy because he was lonely.
Well, I've diagnosed myself with the same thing, only it's apparently a Bullshit Touch. Everything I touch turns to bullshit, which isn't initially amazing or amazing after awhile. It's just bullshit from beginning to end. And no, I'm not being dramatic. I have an ancient mythological bullshit curse.
I decide to bag out of work early, and go get a drink. First, I have to find someone to go with me. Leaving work early for a drink with a friend is fun. Leaving work early to drink by yourself is a cry for help. Unfortunately, because I have the bullshit touch, plan making went like this:
Me: Wanna go get a drink?
Friend: You're annoying. I don't want to be friends anymore.
Yes, it went exactly like that, and I'm really not clear on what the dickens just happened, so like many ancient cultures, I blame it on the curse. Now, instead of drinks, I'm sacrificing a goat.