We have an office microwave, and like most office microwaves, it is a filthy heatable petri dish. Despite the rampant passive-aggressive signage, no one ever wipes down the microwave after using it. This is a continued source of contention for my boss, who was fervently cleaning out the microwave when I ran into him this morning.
"This thing is disgusting!"
"Yes, sir."
"Why doesn't anyone clean it out?!"
"I don't know. I haven't used it since the goo on the bottom practically caught fire when Nancy was making popcorn."
"Well if people cleaned it, goo wouldn't catch fire."
"Yes sir."
"Who is leaving it like this?"
"I don't know."
"I want you to get to the bottom of this."
"I'm sorry...what?"
"Find out who is leaving the microwave so disgusting."
"Seriously?"
"Yes."
So that's my new project - solve the case of the filthy ass microwave - except, Bossman just cleaned up all the evidence.
I don't even know how to figure out who among us is disgusting (though I have some suspects).
I could move the microwave out of the break room and into my office, but that would lead to an excessive amount of 1-3 minute small talk whilst people reheated their lunches. Absolutely not. I don't want to smell whatever tuna curried broccoli bullshit they bring anyway.
I could put it right outside my office, but I don't think Karen would go for that for the same reasons cited above.
So, I've decided to replace it with a fake microwave made out of a box; and thus, forcing everyone to go use the microwaves downstairs.
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