Ever have a conversation with someone about something epically awesome that they'll be doing in the near future, and come to the sad conclusion that they will not be inviting you to join them?
"This weekend, everybody - and I mean everybody - is coming to my party. There's going to be great food, drinking, baby animals, Jesus is stopping by. Everyone is going to have the most amazing time at my party."
And while, at first, you weren't offended there was a party, you suddenly find yourself befuddled that your friend, who obviously likes you enough to hang out now, apparently doesn't like you enough to come to the amazing party of awesomeness, even though the rest of humankind and the Savior will be there.
Worse, your friend turned asshole, is gloating right up in your face about said amazing party of awesomeness . Now you're questioning whether this person was ever really your friend in the first place? Why aren't you invited? Baby animals? You love animals! Especially baby ones!
Whatever - you don't need the party. There's lots of stuff in your Netflix queue just as interesting as Jesus...if not more. You've totally been meaning to rewatch Season 1 of the Walking Dead to finally nail down that timeline. Just how many days has it been since he was in the hospital?
Questions like these can't go unanswered.
And fuck your friend for having a party right in the middle of your really hectic schedule! Obviously that's why you weren't invited in the first place - your friend knew you were too busy with sorting out television chronological mysteries to be bothered with a party. Your friend isn't an asshole. Your friend is a saint. Probably your only true friend; doing you a favor by not inviting you to the amazing party of awesomeness.
There will probably be some cool party favor like the Rapture or something. Stupid friend.
No comments:
Post a Comment