Headline reads: Wife Accused of Killing Husband, Cooking Him in Stew
I can honestly say, I’ve never hated something enough to want to make a stew out of it. Like, “Fuck you, you’re ass is stew.” How does this happen??
I mean...let this be a lesson about not fucking with a housewife right? Unlike most people driven to murder, she won’t put your ass in a shallow grave, she’ll serve you up as soup. Bon appetite!
Anyway, here’s the recipe:
Lying, Cheating Bastard Husband Stew
Prep Time: 26 of the best years of your life, wasted
Cook Time: Based on bitterness
1 Lying, Cheating Bastard Husband
(may substitute Physically/Emotionally Abusive Husband, as needed)
Desired Vegetables
2 gal. Human Stock
Salt & Pepper to Taste
In a large bowl, place murder lying, cheating bastard husband (or husband substitute), and cut into bit-sized pieces. Stir in vegetables, and salt and pepper. Transfer contents to large, cauldron-sized pot. Pour in enough stock to cover.
Place over medium-high flame, and simmer until years of bitterness and resentment have been cooked away. Freezes well.
