Other Dad: My son has made honor roll. Isn't that impressive?
My Dad: Yes, yes - that is very impressive! Jessica, did you hear? His son made the honor roll.
Me: Umm, Dad...you do know me and my brother have both made the honor roll for the last couple of years.
My Dad: Oh, is that what that was? I don't always understand what you two are talking about.
Me: We get that.
My Dad: But his son made the "overarching" honor roll. It's like a combination of all the honor rolls.
Me: Yeah...I actually asked his dad about that at least 8 times. About how to make the "overarching" honor roll happen.
My Dad: You did?
Me: Yeah but he treats me like I'm in special ed. If he even answered me at all.
My Dad: Well, I know you and your brother are smart.
Me: You could mention that to him. His dad is on the honor roll committee!
My Dad: You're too impatient. Besides, we're having a party for the honor roll kids, and since you and your brother made it, like you said, then it'll be like your party too.
Me: That's swell Dad. Thanks.
My Dad: Don't be unhappy kiddo. You gotta be positive like your dad. Optimism.
Me: Obviously, I'm adopted.