TWO-FIFTY SIX MOTHERF*CKING SATURDAY AFTERNOON!!
How many women are the going to have to find in the underbrush this week to get a text check up out of you fools?!
No, don't put this on me - I'm the one possibly murdered in this! Not you. You are, very distinctly, not possibly murdered since 2:56 Saturday afternoon.
I, however, could have been dead since 2:56 PM, Saturday and here we are whole 24 hours out from then and not a goddamn one of you has checked up on me.
Nevermind the fact that I wasn't in danger of being murdered since 2:5fucking6 yesterday afternoon. That I know of! And you...you certainly don't know if I was or wasn't.
Nevermind the fact that I wasn't in danger of being murdered since 2:5fucking6 yesterday afternoon. That I know of! And you...you certainly don't know if I was or wasn't.
I'm just saying kiddos, to actually get to a whole 24-hours because I will literally have to be murdered in order to get me to shut up about what horrible friends, coworkers and e-casual acquaintances you are.
So you can all just sit there and reflect in shame about the time I was maybe missing and/or murdered and none of you thought to think about it.
No, I will not tell you what I did last night. You think about what I did last night. Because if you're not in the "KNOW" category, then eff you for not knowing I wasn't murdered and being OK with it.
And finally, for my dear sweet mother's peace of mind - I was not once, between 2:56 Saturday afternoon and now, ever in real danger of being murdered.
That I know of...
Mwuahahahahaha!!
