Monday, November 1, 2010

TOP 10 MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT DINOSAURS

According to the Smithsonian Natural Museum of Natural History, these are 10 things you're totally wrong about when it comes to dinosaurs. And if you think #5 is true, you've got problems far beyond your misconceptions on dinosaurs.


1.Dinosaurs represent failure and extinction. Well they don't represent success and longevity. Rather, dinosaurs are the best examples of success and adaptation. They ruled the Earth longer than any other land animals (over 150 million years), and gave rise to birds. 


I'll have to respectfully disagree with the Smithsonian's answer. I'm not giving up my existence to birds. No way. If they can't master windows and how to get back out of a grocery store, they simply cannot rule the world.  


2. Dinosaurs and "humans" coexisted. The death of the last dinosaur and the appearance of the first "human" (genus Homo) were separated by about 62 million years.


Did people really think this? That's not ok. I'd almost rather you think dinosaurs never existed and that their bones are all fakery like the moon landing.


3. Dinosaurs were either all hot-blooded or all cold-blooded. Most specialists believe that dinosaurs were "dinosaur-blooded." 


They were full of candy; everyone knows that. I must be human-blooded. Good job on sounding creditable Smithsonian.


4. The word dinosaur means "terrible-lizard." Actually it was originally defined to mean "fearfully-great lizard." 


How many trivia games hinged on the semantics?! Thanks for being douchey-specific Smithsonian. Terrible and fearfully-great are so different.


5. Whatever you read in the latest "dinosaur book" or see on T.V. or in the movies must be true.  Popular books, movies, and TV specials need not be 100% accurate. They often contain errors and outdated information, and may reflect the personal bias of the writer. (Most dinosaur books and TV scripts are not reviewed by professional dinosaur paleontologists).


At least you're getting your misconceptions to the latest book or TV show. Nothing quite as embarrassing as outdated misconceptions. The world does not sit on a giant turtle; it is, in fact, flat.


6. Dinosaurs all lived and died at the same time. The distance in time between Tyrannosaurus and Apatosaurus (formerly called Brontosaurus) is more than the time between Tyrannosaurus and your parents, about 65 million years. 


The dinosaurs did not have a suicide pact. 


7. Mammals arose after the dinosaurs, or helped drive them into extinction by eating their eggs. 


Well, which the fuck is it?


8. An asteroid (or comet) killed the dinosaurs (It was obesity and curiosity). The asteroid impact may have been "the straw that broke the camel's back."  


Or, "the asteroid that fucking killed the dinosaurs."


9. All big reptiles from the prehistoric past ("Monsters") are dinosaurs.  Dinosaurs represented less than 10%. 


Is the Smithsonian saying monsters were real?? Prove it NMNH...show me a monster fossil. 


10. Archaeologists dig up dinosaurs.  Archaeology and paleoanthropology (subdivisions of Anthropology) only deal with humans and cover the last 3-4 million years. Paleontology (a combination of Geology and Biology) deals with all fossils and covers the last 3.5 billion years. 


The Smithsonian website gives the snottiest answer to this question. It sounds as silly as when escorts insist they're not prostitutes. Dinosaurs do not accept money for sex.